A decade ago, singer Tanvi Shah declared, “When God throws things at you, you should not disrespect it,” in an interview with The Hindu. At that time, she was a sensation in the music industry, not only as the first Indian woman to win a Grammy for AR Rahman’s globally acclaimed hit ‘Jai Ho’ from Slumdog Millionaire, but also as someone deeply immersed in performances and film song recordings. Her schedule was packed, keeping her running from one concert to another.
Up until September last year, everything seemed to be moving at a breathtaking pace. However, Tanvi began to sense that something was off. Though she received reassurances from a doctor that everything was fine, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. “From September 2023 to March 2024, I was constantly traveling and quite busy, but I kept thinking that something was not right,” she says, reminiscing about her busy days filled with musical endeavors alongside Tamil music stalwarts like Yuvan Shankar Raja and AR Rahman.
Eventually, her intuition led her to seek a second opinion, which set off a series of medical tests. March 27, 2024, marked a pivotal shift in Tanvi’s life as she was diagnosed with breast cancer. This news was the beginning of a grueling journey comprising surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation sessions—a trying time that, as Tanvi puts it, tossed her mind into turmoil. The procedures left her feeling broken, struggling with tasks as simple as holding a pen. “I couldn’t journal, I couldn’t write my songs,” she recounts, her hands trembling from the aftereffects of the treatment.
The singer faced further challenges with second-degree burns from radiation and the emotional blow of losing much of her hair. “I could not get myself to look at a mirror for three months. Believe me, for women, our hair is our ego,” Tanvi confessed. She had always prided herself on her independence and found it difficult to ask for help. “What I’ve realized thanks to this phase is that it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to not be strong.”
During these trying weeks, Tanvi found herself retreating into a cocoon.
. Despite doctors advising her to reach out and speak to people, she chose solitude over sharing her burden. “I did not want people telling me what to do or share experiences of someone they knew who had undergone similar experiences. All I wanted was some peace of mind and courage to push through this.”
Despite the challenges, Tanvi found solace in regular exercise at Primal Patterns and numerous sessions of Shambhavi meditation. “I was at peace during those days,” she notes, reflecting on the processes that helped her endure the tough times.
Music, a central part of her life for years, took a backseat during her recovery—Tanvi didn’t touch a musical instrument or turn on music for nearly 45 days. Yet, after triumphing over three weeks of radiation, the Grammy Award winner slowly found her way back to music. “I am doing my riyaz for Hindustani classical. I am also trying to create rhythms for the new songs that I wish to write. I took out a pen from my fountain pen collection to write only recently.”
The singer is now receiving calls for performances. Intriguingly, her ‘Tansha’ band, known for its eclectic mix of Spanish, Arabic, and world music, is in demand. “I’m blessed that the few who have called me have been patient and understanding.”
As Tanvi looks to the future, she promises a powerful return as a musical artist, soon to step back into recording studios and onto concert stages. “I haven’t disappeared,” she assures. “I will come back, and when I do, I will come back super strong. Now, I feel like I have got a second life.”
Published – September 30, 2024, 03:55 pm IST
