Remember the glaring absence of a trigger warning in *Blink Twice*? Well, *The Crow* comes with its own caution—but for all the wrong reasons. This fifth installment in the franchise should come with a forewarning for excruciatingly toe-curling dialogue and a cast plagued by zero chemistry. Based on James O’Barr’s celebrated comic book series and Alex Proyas’ visually stunning 1994 film, this unnecessary reboot directed by Rupert Sanders (infamously known for directing the *Foundation* pilot) plods along at a pace akin to congealing gum in a deserted post office on a blistering afternoon.
Starting with a deeply unsettling scene of animal cruelty, *The Crow* opens with a dying horse trapped in barbed wire. A young boy, Eric, is traumatized as he tries to free the animal. Fast forward, the grown-up Eric (portrayed by Bill Skarsgård) is a man wrestling with addiction. Parallelly, we meet Shelly (played by FKA Twigs), a pianist who also battles her own addiction demons. Their paths cross when Shelly’s friend, Zadie (Isabella Wei), sends her a mysterious video, prompting Shelly to flee from Roeg (Danny Huston), an art patron turned crime lord who has made a deal with the devil.
As the harrowing chain of events unfolds, Shelly is soon caught by the police and sent to rehab, where she encounters Eric. Their fates are further complicated by Marian (Laura Birn), Roeg’s ruthless right-hand. Consequently, Eric and Shelly escape together, seeking refuge at a posh apartment owned by one of Shelly’s friends. Amid their harrowing circumstances, they indulge in a love affair, partying through the nights, until Roeg’s henchmen track them down and ultimately end their lives in brutal fashion.
Eric’s resurrection occurs in an eerie, deserted train station. Here, he meets Cronos (Sami Bouajila), who informs him of his purgatory-like existence. As long as his love for Shelly remains untainted, Eric is invincible and capable of taking vengeance on those who wronged them. Once all evil is eradicated, Eric can reunite with his true love. Thus begins his sluggish, rampage-filled quest for revenge.
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Visually, the production design merits some applause. The soundscape, while decent on its own, is inevitably juxtaposed against the hauntingly iconic soundtrack of the original 1994 movie, which featured the likes of Stone Temple Pilots, The Cure, and Nine Inch Nails. However, these fleeting moments of aesthetic enjoyment cannot salvage the film’s undeniable failings. The climactic, operatic violence—interspersed with literal opera sequences in case the metaphor was missed—is over the top and gratuitous.
The sorest disappointment lies in the utter lack of chemistry between Twigs and Skarsgård. Their interactions fail to evoke any genuine sense of a love enduring through the ages. Instead, their relationship comes off as one of mere convenience. Flat, uninspired dialogues further undermine any potential emotional investment viewers might have in their story. The film’s sluggish pace and disjointed plot, accentuated by a critical video that serves as little more than filler, contribute to an overall sense of narrative stasis.
Adding to the list of gripes, the crow—a symbolically rich figure in various mythologies, including its association with ancestors and rebirth in Hindu beliefs—feels like an afterthought. Vagueness and pointlessness command its appearances, much like other peripheral characters, such as Shelly’s mum Sophia (Josette Simon) and a nameless pianist whose sole function is to make eyes at Roeg. During a brief chase scene, the regenerating Eric momentarily evokes a Gothic Terminator, but this glimmer of potential is quickly quashed, with the film reverting back to its wasteland of imagination.
In conclusion, *The Crow* remake fails spectacularly in all the places where it needed to excel. Its leaden pace, uninspired dialogue, and lack of compelling character dynamics make it a burdensome watch. Despite the top-tier production design and occasional audio-visual pleasures, the film’s fundamental weaknesses guarantee that it will not transcend its mediocre roots.
*The Crow* is currently screening in theatres.
